“Let courage carry you.”
In the last couple of years, life has been rough in some way or form mentally, and I don’t think things will get any easier. And slowly but surely, the layers of my little bubble will thin out and soon I’ll need to fend for myself in the “real world.”
I found this quote floating around the internet recently. And it struck me suddenly to write about it.
These words resonate with me in several parts of my life.
I’ve been struggling to be happy for several months now, and the reasons why seem to keep growing.
Some days, I am happy. And on other days, I find myself falling backwards into a uncomfortable yet comfortable feeling of sadness. It hurts to be there, but I’m not brave enough to admit that I’m unhappy. So I fall, and I sink deeper into the arms of sadness until I lose myself in its overwhelming darkness.
Sometimes I find my way back to the light, but after being lost for so long, I blink at the sunlight, confused and wondering where the girl I used to be went. Whenever I find my way back, I seem to return with a part of me missing, a piece of me that the darkness stole away.
I think I’m still struggling with what I went through earlier this year, and it sucks. I shouldn’t put a limit on how long it takes to heal, but how long is too long? And why hasn’t it gotten better?
But every day, I wake up and go through the motions, unsure of whether I’ve wasted another day or made the most of it. But I guess the main thing is that I lived, and when it seems difficult to wake up, I try to let courage carry me.
I’m not sure of what I’m doing with my life. I know I’m not the first person to say that, and I’m definitely not the last.
I dream about moving somewhere far away and pursuing my writing dreams. I want to work for a magazine or a blog. I want the words from my soul, my heart, and my mind to flow like a river from my fingers onto a page.
I also dream about performing or travelling to see what’s out there. But these dreams are all so “unstable.” But can I help it if I was born a dreamer?
I’m afraid of how quickly the real world is approaching, but I think life has good things in store for me, so I just have to be brave and let courage carry me.
I’ve read lots of articles with every opinion possible. One author writes that it’s okay to not know what you want to do with your life. Another tells you how to figure out your life now. There are countless articles listing what you should do in your twenties, to stay single, to settle down, to let go, to hold on. Sigh.
We can listen to others as much we want, but I think we have to come to the conclusion that we shouldn’t rely on others to help us. We need to figure out what’s best for us. People can give advice, but only you know your truth.
Over time, I’m starting to realize that we’re in control of our own lives. And we also need to grab that courage whenever we can and let it carry you. What good is it to hide behind your own sadness, your own loneliness, and to be afraid of what others think? Let courage carry you in your life, and don’t be afraid to fail. But also let that courage be the reason you succeed.
Thank you for reading. I’ll see you lovelies soon. ♥