Hello lovelies, today will be a little update on what’s been going on in my life lately and some things I’m grateful for.
I’ve been noticing a pattern; summertime seems to be the loneliest season for me in the last few years. Last summer, I was completely alone about 90% of the time, and this summer I spent a lot of time on my own again. I know now that this is a combination of closing myself off from others and not really having anyone in my life that regularly checks up on me.
Also, in the last year or two, I tried going on adventures by myself. I thought I would be able to find peace in solitude, but over time, I got a little sadder. When I’m not around others, I tend to think about difficult events from the past and in turn, I start feeling sad. Maybe I’m just a sensitive person, but I tend to have a lot of mood swings.
But lately, I’ve been trying to reconnect with people and make new connections. And now this brings us to what has recently changed my mood a bit.
EXPERIENCING NEW THINGS
I spent a weekend in LA a couple weeks ago (if you haven’t seen it yet, I did a gallery post of what I did here!) and I feel like it sparked something in me.
I went to KCON LA for the first time and I actually really enjoyed it. I’m not a hardcore k-pop fan, but it was interesting to experience. To be honest, I think I was mostly excited to look at the Korean skincare and makeup products. 😂
I also saw “famous” people: I was maybe 20 feet away from a k-pop group called VIXX (I actually really like their music!) and I saw YouTubers such as Edward Avila, sunnydahye, and Joan Kim.
I actually met Joan Kim! This felt so surreal to me because I had never met a YouTuber before and I always watch her daily vlogs. It was also inspiring because I know she works hard to make videos every day and it kind of made me want to make videos again.
BEAUTIFUL VIEWS/LIVING LIFE
I then went to Santa Monica the next day and I did a photoshoot with a friend (check out my OOTD post here!), got to eat yummy food, and saw another YouTuber! But I was too shy to talk to her/wasn’t sure if it was her at the time. 🙁
But again, I felt inspired to make videos and/or work harder on my blog. I’d love to make fashion/beauty videos, but I think I want to start covering songs again first. ☺
Ever since that weekend, I’ve felt a little happier, and I’m trying to hold on to it for dear life. It feels like a window that has cracked open and let a little light into a room that was once filled with darkness.
If you’ve regularly read my blog or ventured into the “Thinking” section of my blog, you’ll know that I’m not the most positive person mentally. I feel like I struggle a lot emotionally because I always feel things so strongly.
I felt down a lot this summer, but recently, I’m a little more hopeful. After that weekend, I’ve reached out to some people and some people have reached out to me. I’m working on this blog, I’m about to start a new job, and I feel like things are beginning to look up.
I know summer is a lot of people’s favorite season because it’s a time where people take vacations, catch up with others, and have fun. But that hasn’t really been the case for me.
However, things have changed a little bit this summer, and I’m so grateful for it. I’m grateful for the people that have kept in contact with me, for the adventures I’ve had this summer, and for the light that has recently come into my life.
Here’s to more positivity to come. ♥