Another year gone by.
Meet me at the lost and found.
I don’t remember when I found myself in the lost and found
Thrown into a pile like it was the island of misfit toys.
I spent so much time wearing personalities like masks
Changing characters like Halloween costumes
I looked for a place to belong, but ended up here instead.
Now I’m faced with facing my bare, naked face
To discover who I really am
Sitting in a dim, dusty box at the lost and found.
I wish I could map out the future,
Input the coordinates and discover exactly what’s next
Or that blowing on dandelions and making wishes on birthday candles
Would make everything come true.
I don’t mind spoiled surprises and endings,
I just wish I knew the unknown.
But the longer I spent in solitude,
The more I came to recognize my reflection in the mirror without a mask.
The quirks in my personality that I had repressed deep down were a pleasant surprise
Like the feeling you get when you discover jacket pockets you didn’t know existed
I wondered why I had kept these secrets to myself
Why was I afraid of who I was without a character to play?
I wanted to be like everyone else.
I searched for myself in validation and acceptance from others
Instead of evolving into my own identity.
But now I’m somewhere between lost and found.
The edges are still fuzzy
Like when you’re clumsily reaching for your alarm in the morning
In a state of half-awake, half-fighting with leftover melatonin.
But clarity comes with time, when the light gets lighter
When the dust gets dusted off
When the dust gathers among the masks instead
When I stop looking for the coordinates for buried treasure
Because you don’t need to dig too deep to find what you’re looking for.
I shouldn’t be afraid of taking the wrong path
If I’m lost, then I’ll be found again one day.
Meet me at my new home, the lost and found.
Let’s be lost and found together.
Happy 23rd birthday to me. Let this be a new chapter full of forward momentum and perseverance. Give me the strength to leave negative memories behind, fight my inner demons, and shed the masks I used to live with. I hope I’m on my way to becoming a fearless woman that isn’t afraid of being lost and found.